“How Sophisticated!!!”

The new craze that has swept through London in the past month is now taking the world by storm.

What one can achieve through this method was once unheard of, before women’s liberation.  Everyone must now shift into their own inappropriate manner, which is now is very appropriate.

With just a soft brush to the groin or breast area, receive discounts, attract men or women and say goodbye to paying for petrol!  Flirtation today is hard to find, so you should definitely settle for anything you can get, which can sometimes include people you find repulsive.  They too might feel the same way about you.

See the poll below, and have your say!

Latest detailed reports show that 93% of all men prefer women to have larger breasts.  There is no surprise though, for all women who are surgically enhanced look better, feel better and have the world at their finger tips.

We interviewed an exceptionally smart and attractive woman called Linda that lives in Beverly Hills who has had many breast augmentation and other miscellaneous nip-tucks and were surprised at the 3 outcomes.

- Beauty
- Happiness
- Wealth

After one year of all surgeries performed she reported that she was admired by the public more, thus more happy inside and out, and at least 3 men bought her cars, jewellery and a house!

Linda quoted “I feel sorry for women who don’t have large breasts, because they are definitely missing out on a great opportunity. Sometimes when I’m cooking, I add a hint of cinnamon to add flavour to the cake. Sometimes dried figs are the ultimate luxury”.

Since Linda’s success, we are definitely bound to see an increase in plastic surgery, which means more attractive people.. now and for the future.

- Avoid Fruit Platters in Hotels (This can lead to Irritable Bowel Syndrome, not the good kind)

- Watch Oprah on a Daily Basis

- Eat Celery (2kg before bed time)

- Telephone friends that are more stupid than yourself and tell them you’re smart, or read something to them from a website (You can say this is your research)

- Subliminal Messages can help improve your I.Q., although it can lead to inappropriate self fondling in public

- Pay someone to give you a scalp massage

“I am attractive but deadly”

]]> http://grazer.blog.com/2011/03/01/do-you-think-youre-stupid/feed/ 0 http://grazer.blog.com/2009/09/03/lie-to-me/ http://grazer.blog.com/2009/09/03/lie-to-me/#comments Thu, 03 Sep 2009 12:43:54 +0000 grazer http://grazer.blog.com/?p=16 Today’s busy business woman, sometimes lacking for time for the more important things in life, needs things that are less important.

Confused?!

Recent studies have shown that 83.5% of women in either happy or unhappy relationships prefer if their partners actually lie to them.  Hence the word “Sugar-coating”.

It’s now a known fact that sweet words of nothing or something have proven to get people faster and better results, for both parties.

“Honey, I’m just going out to buy you some gifts”

(Even though you are going out drinking and are aware you have lied to your partner, they will be happy that you are making an effort).

“I meant well”

(These words can fix anything, because it shows your partner that you meant well).

“You look great today, have you done something different with your hair?”

(This can make your partner forget the fact that you are going out drinking when she’s looking in the mirror to see if something is different with her hair).

With these three simple steps, you too can manipulate them (just like your partner) to work things out your way.

So remember, start lying and soon you will be on your way to marriage bliss.

Follow the following steps, and you too can have the perfect mate without spending the holidays alone with your thoughts and uneasiness.

- Consume at least 1 bag of chips daily (preferably after 11pm).

- Call your friends on a daily basis, telling them you are not lonely and you have lots of admirers.

- Depending on sexual preference, gain an interest in the same or opposite sex (this can double your chances).

- Don’t take no for an answer.  In most cases today, no means YES PLEASE!

- Car parks are an easy and friendly way to meet people, if you follow 10 people to their cars, one of them is sure to give you their number.

- Look through the phone book and find an attractive name.  Introduce yourself and make sure you tell them you have lots of money before asking them out on a date.